Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Life Definitions

Health
This morning on the way to work I heard a commercial about staying healthy and I found myself wondering if anyone really wants to be unhealthy.  I mean health is defined by merriam-webster as "the condition of being sound in body, mind, or spirit; especially: freedom from physical disease or pain" so when I hear the children shows on TV telling kids what to do to be healthy I feel a little pain.  By the definition above our Emily is not healthy.  She is happy and active and alive, but not free from disease and pain. Emily did not choose this nasty disease.  Somehow it found us through genes or virus or a combination of the two or perhaps something entirely unknown (idiopathic means of unknown cause) so we don't talk about being healthy so much as we talk about doing good things for our body and helping us feel good even with arthritis.  We have a new job as parents; we have to teach Emily how to live with this her whole life. 

Motherhood
Someday she will need to understand the medicine she is taking to control her arthritis may keep her from having children of her own, she will need to understand and make peace with that. So being a mother will have a different meaning for her.

Life
Life does have a different meaning know.  Little things don't bother me so much because life means we still have our sweet daughter to hold.  This disease has killed before and the possibility is always present in our minds; so life has a new meaning.

So many new meanings; so many ways to say something and look at life.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Happiness

After Emily was discharged from the hospital she was sad.  She couldn't do things she could before she was sick.  She was so weak walking was difficult and she couldn't jump or run at all.  I was so worried she would hate life.

I remember overhearing someone say they would commit suicide if they got fat and lost their hair due to another similar disease and all I could think about was what if that is how Emily feels.

I am very happy to report she has been her happy self since I got home from my last work trip.  She is running, smiling, laughing, jumping and playing like she used to.  She might be a little slower and not as strong as before, but she doesn't seem to even notice it any more. 

As a parent I decided if I could teach my children to love life I would have done a good job.  It's still my hope that in spite of infusions and doctor visits and steroids and arthritis Emily will love life and find joy.